my heart is crying #part1

don't you know abt my feelings? don't you ever think if i get hurt? don't you know it's too much pain for me to pretend to be  happy everytime? don't you know eventho i'm very happy outside but inside i'm dying?don't you know i really get stress out of these things? don't you know my heart is upset? i mean i just don't wanna get hurt again. it's too hurt. very pain. it's too difficult. very hard for me to to accept this....
         uhm idk but i think it's just hesitating if i write all these because no one care abt me. please i beg you stop acting like this. really difficult to me to explain all these. yes i knw i'm annoying. but thats me, just me. i am for who i am. i love myself. never hate myself.... for sure......
          last wednesday, okay i knw that we're very happy bcs we've met. so yayy..... but when you arrived, y u no talk to me first? yes i knw they're important than me. yes i know and i don't care at all pun. but at least you can say even 'hi' to me aite? and suddenly you sat beside me and you talked with other people. yayyy well me is 'tunggul kayu'. but yknw i just take it easy as i can take it like 'okay...he just made a conversation with them okay i dnt care at all pun it's okay i just sit here and drinks and tweets and alone...'
          alright maybe it's my fault la kan bcs my mood is too down. but before tht, did you think why my mood is goin' to down? why??? okay doesn't matter... you don't have to know the reason pun. i just affraid to get hurt again je. i just can't. all i need is you. yourself, your trust, your support, your attention, your love& etc.
            and the most is, the way you talk to her. the way you stare her when you talk to her. am i jealous? eh no lah i'm not jealous pun... who cares kan? i kan tunggul kayu. and that time i was like...'omg i wanna go back home now. my heart is crying. i have to fix it back.' when i met mama, i jst said,'mama it's long time no hug you!' *mama hug me tightly* omygod i felt very calm when mama hug me... suddenly my tears are streaming down my cheeks, and i was like 'eei why la i get cried do!!!' yknow i hate tears.. looks like i'm not brave. *sigh*

Thanks baca ♥

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